Email Going Around Called, "How Wall Street Works"

Young Chuck bought a donkey from a farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.
The next day he drove up and said, 'Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died.' Chuck replied, 'Well, then just give me my money back.'

The farmer said, 'Can't do that. I went and spent it already.' Chuck said, 'Ok, then, just bring me the dead donkey.' The farmer asked, 'What ya gonna do with him? Chuck said, 'I'm going to raffle him off.' The farmer said "You can't raffle off a dead donkey!' Chuck said, 'Sure I can, watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead.'

A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, 'What happened with that dead donkey?' Chuck said, 'I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $998.' The farmer said, 'Didn't anyone complain?' Chuck said, 'Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back.'

Chuck now works as a consultant for Goldman Sachs, JP Morgan and the US Federal Reserve.

Another Great Blog

This guy is always worth the read. Enjoy.

State of the Union

I was just thinking how we need to be fiscally responsible and bring the people responsible for 9/11 to justice.... in 2002.... Apparently George W. Bush just made it a priority so we've all got that going for us. Who is this stooge? Rip Van Winkle?!!

You Think I'm Cynical and Bitter?!

Holy shit. This guy's so spitting mad he's almost unintelligible. He's also really funny. Here's his other one: http://historians.blogspot.com/

Enjoy!

Everyone's Dream Come True - Domestic Painray Use

And you thought you'd be bored talking about Aunt Porcina's gout this Christmas! Police all over the country are salivating over the potential for a cheaper pain ray. Our poor municipalities can't afford the multi-million dollar, Humvee mounted version with a 6 foot radius and a range of 1/2 a mile. It's just tax payer's money anyway (more likely its debt on top of debt - so its our children's children's children's money) but they need it cheaper since the tax-base won't support the big guns. They want one they can carry around. They're thinking a radius of 100 feet should be fine.

Think of it fellow citizens?! Soon you'll have the chance to say things like, "Of course it doesn't shock my conscience... It's non-lethal." And "Yeah, but it doesn't do permanent damage and that guy was totally asking for it. He was mouthing off at a political rally."

My favorite idea in the article is the plan to mount the ray hidden inside the walls of a room. I want one in my dining room. At parties if anyone disagrees with me.... EVERYBODY PAYS - even me. ;[ That ought to keep things lively!

I hope you're as comfortable as I am with another huge step toward the end of peaceful decent. We weren't using those silly old rights anyway....

Good luck comrade citizen.

For those party guest who just won't take a hint....

The folks at Raytheon should really open a Disney-style park to show this type of stuff off. Who would believe that it was possible to create a real, honest-to-goodness PAIN RAY with a range of 1/2 a mile!

You can see it here too:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qr3qJ0racd0

Here's a British reporter taking one for the team (just on the finger):

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/technology/technology.html?in_article_id=482560&in_page_id=1965

Here's an American report that you can believe at your peril:

http://blog.wired.com/defense/2007/10/the-active-can-.html

I'm totally getting four of these! I'm gonna point them randomly at everyone and everything and yell, "Take that for whatever you might feel guilty about!"

Once all my neighbors have had a dose I'll be the undisputed KING of the Home Owner's Association.

The best part is that without coroborating witnesses it's impossible to prove that you've been shot by one. I'm starting to reconsider the prospects of teaching high school....

Good luck comrade citizen!

Your Rights are Inconvenient to Your Government

Every appointed and elected official who didn't resist these should be drummed out of office. If you think anything about these two seemingly minor issues is acceptable, please post, I'd be happy to respond.

Due Process Suspended for Revenue Collections in DC
http://www.theagitator.com/archives/028326.php#028326
The errosion of your rights regarding revenue collection has been going on for years but there has always been a patina of access to the law. No more. Due to the fact that they were LOSING THE CASES TOO OFTEN, DC has eliminated access even to the lame administrative courts that they and the rest of the country setup to "adjudicate" parking tickets.

Seems trivial right? "Awe come on, it's just a parking ticket..." Before you totally dismiss it, consider that now, if a meter maid ticketed you unfairly every day because you looked at her funny there is no court inwhich to get recourse. You'd be forced to pay every one until you found a way of bringing the abuse to the attention of her superiors (if they cared). Since parking enforcement is typically handled by aggressive subcontractors whose deal with the city is predicated on increased revenue collections... I doubt that a simple appeal to her superiors would work... They'd probably give her a raise.

Good luck comrade citizen.

Finally - Police can Forcibly take Your Blood
http://www.theagitator.com/archives/028326.php#028326
Like me, you probably spend sleepless nights worrying that the police don't have enough power and wishing that we could just sweep aside trivialities like health safety and human dignity. Good news! Now police can FORCIBLY TAKE YOUR BLOOD right out on the street.

I'm sure there will be some alarmist out there who think its a bad idea. That would likely be because they don't know, like I do, that everyone in the government is trustworthy and competent. The thought of a vial of my blood rattling around a police car or evidence room (with all of the security and care applied to material from a traffic stop) makes me feel safer.

Good luck comrade citizen!